Tryst

She said “Baby, this is real love"

And I believed her

Until the evening found us screaming

And I had to leave her

Please don’t believe her

I didn’t mean to break her 

To make her just like me

A bitter young twentysomething

But that’s the way it goes

When your own selfish dreams

Are barely sealed at the seams

I knew I couldn’t love another

Until I learned to love me

But I thought I’d skip a step or two

For temporary company

And look where that left me

Alone the way I’m meant to be

Nothing gained but a new enemy

I wish you didn’t hate me

But hateful’s what the world made me

You may be with another guy

And I, alone entirely

I wish that I could take us back

To my palms on your back

A familiar scene

When it was you and me

We used to live in teenage dreams

Now I just see you mentally

Oh yes, I still find

That you’re still on my mind

But only sometimes

To stand on opposing sides

Of rented homes is our destiny

To awkwardly greet at every party

Where you dance with other guys

And I stand unaccompanied

That’s the way it’s meant to be

You and I weren’t meant to be

But what does “meant to” even mean?

I asked

Can we rewrite the scene?

Well, she said, not easily

It’d take a lot of work, you see

And if I know you -

And I’m sure that I do -

You’d never work that hard on anything

And so I’m once again lonely

Of my own accord, accordingly

I never doubted our chemistry

But it seems I was the wrong piece

Every single day you puzzled me

I don’t know what the hell you mean

You make it all about you

And then you say it’s ‘cause of me

Whatever - it’s over

I’m over it entirely

But I might not be

Your dark cloud’s still over me

The raincloud that follows me

When I look up, you’re what I see

The drops I feel are memories