2015 in Albums: My 5 Favorites

2015 may well come to be seen as a transitory year in many facets of life, and few of those are so clear as in the world of music. With the last of the euro-tinged EDM that dominated the first half of the 2010s fading out of the public conscience, 2015 saw the sound of the decade began to solidify. The amalgam of southern hip-hop snare rolls, bouncy tropical house, the funk of the era formerly led by Prince, and the power ballads setting the stage for the late release of Adele was what permeated the culture. What’s more, we saw the complete dominance of streaming services in what may well be seen as the end of the digital download era. It was a year of diversity, a year of change, and a year of excitement as entrepreneurial artists seized the sounds of modern music software and instruments to create some incredible works. It’s my pleasure today to tell you a bit about five of the releases that defined my own year, as well as the year of many others.

5. Panda Bear – Panda Bear Meets The Grim Reaper

After the bleak Tomboy and a series of critically acclaimed releases as part of Animal Collective, Panda Bear looked simultaneously inward and outward for his fifth album, the ambitious Panda Bear Meets The Grim Reaper. Melding his signature psychedelic sound with hip-hop drum programming inspired by the likes of J Dilla and A Tribe Called Quest, Panda Bear comes face to face with his own mortality in a haze of bubbling synths and murky bass lines. First single “Mr. Noah” is the weirdest and catchiest song about a dog getting bitten on the leg that you’ve ever heard; follow-up “Boys Latin” uses delayed vocals to create a fog of tenor as Panda Bear laments on the shadow moving in. Between and beyond those two are a series of auditory hallucinations, with highlights like “Come to Your Senses” leaving the listener questioning whether they themselves had been swept up in Panda Bear’s stream. Late-game standout “Tropic of Cancer” finds Panda Bear grappling with death through the lens of his father’s mortality over an ingenious sample of “The Nutcracker Ballet”. My personal favorite of the album, “Butcher Baker Candlestick Maker” evokes the musical image of water streaming peacefully over rocks, with the ambient vocals contrasting as perfectly as the reflection of the blue sky.

4. Majical Cloudz – Are You Alone?

Don’t let the hip-hop tinged spelling of their name fool you – Majical Cloudz are dead serious about their craft, and their sparse yet layered music reflects their commitment. Lead singer Devon Welsh’s plain but powerful voice is paired with the flowing, minimal soundscapes of producer Matthew Otto to create a world draped solemnly in white, the color of the ghosts of the past. In comparison to their previous effort, the sublime Impersonator, Otto allows his electronic influences a little bit further out of his leash; brushed snares urge the momentum of “Control”, and an echoed but muted drum machine perfectly carries the ever-building title track. On that title track, the duo speak equally to a lover, a friend, and even the world of music itself; “Do you hear what I’m saying?” becomes frustrated and desperate in that context, though it is not belittled by any other interpretation. Therein lies the genius of Majical Cloudz – these lyrics are charged, but relatable. These instrumentals are familiar, but chilling, like a look back at an old photograph faded by age. By the time the album reaches the lonely sidewalk dirge of “Downtown”, Walsh has contorted his voice into the exact middle of a wail and a whisper from a mouth curled into a knowing smile. “If suddenly I die, I hope they will say,” he says turning toward the infinite city sky, “that he was obsessed, and it was okay.” That kind of raw honesty and emotion is the perfect vessel to deliver the kind of craft that Majical Cloudz deals in. You begin to feel the emptiness of the streets that they describe, and the magic of their collaboration seeps through the cracks.

3. Shlohmo – Dark Red

The aptly named “Ten Days of Falling” begins with a hazy synth that quickly blooms into an almost operatic series of organ chords, only to give way to a screeching minor synth line atop building electronica stabs as the listener takes a swan dive into Shlohmo’s hazy world. That flair for the dramatic is the driving force behind Dark Red, whose name accurately depicts the thick, cloudy smog that creeps from behind each piece. “Emerge From Smoke” takes a crushed arpeggio line and accents it with sparse, breathy bits that simulate a digital take on a guitarist’s slides. From there, Shlohmo adds his tightly controlled hip-hop drum sequences that landed him an acclaimed collaborative EP with Jeremih earlier this year and brought him into the same breath as the likes of Baauer and Clams Casino. The lines between electronica and trip-hop blur even further on “Slow Descent”, which begins somewhere in the VIP lounge of a club and ends up as a breakneck drum ‘n’ bass odyssey over half-time synth melodies. “Apathy”, the lone collaborative effort with D33J, is the furthest foray into the world of southern trap, but still retains the compositional and melodic tropes of Shlohmo’s dark, rhapsodic electronics. To deftly move between these worlds is to fully embrace the sounds of mid-2010s electronic music; to innovate as Shlohmo does is another beast entirely. By the ending chords of “Beams”, one has to gasp for air, finally surfacing from the brash waves of Dark Red’s sonic ocean with a newly invigorated appreciation for what lies in the murky deep.

2. Jamie xx – In Colour

Coursing through the veins of opener “Gosh” is the blood of 90s house infused with the intoxicants of early hip-hop turntablism; the dizzying speed changes that momentarily halt the track are clever nods to Jamie’s own past as a master of the spinning wax. Retrofuturism is the name of the game on the debut solo album from the quiet producer of The xx, and the way that Jamie pulls from the past in ingenious sampling decisions create a world all his own adorned with historic relics on every wall. From the 90s-indebted breakbeat of “SeeSaw” to the shrewd chorus of “Loud Places”, the producer brings modern sounds together in perfect concordance with the ghosts of years past. Nowhere is this better executed than the year’s least expected hip-hop masterpiece, “I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times)” featuring the unlikely but perfect pairing of Young Thug and a sample of 50s acapella group The Persuasions. Though it’s hard not to be distracted by Thug’s amphibious and sometimes charmingly gross rhymes, the glue here is the masterstrokes of Jamie’s steel pans and perfectly compressed bass lines. In Colour at times feels like the ideally minimalist canvas art of an artist too long left behind the scenes, the craft of a perfectionist finally ready for exhibition. Each carefully crafted instrument has its place, and no song feels overcrowded; even relatively ambient tracks like “Hold Tight” use each individual chord in perfect tandem. By the ending stomp of “Girl”, Jamie has cleverly broken down the divisions between triplet and four-on-the-floor time while continuing to hone his signature sounds. The poignant chorus of “Loud Places” puppeteers a defeated-sounding echo of the past, lamenting, “I will never reach such heights”. If In Colour is any indication, Jamie xx will not only reach those heights, but also breezily surpass them.

1. Kendrick Lamar – To Pimp A Butterfly

2015 was the year that the conscious American was forced into uncomfortable contemplation on the plight of their black brothers and sisters by horrific systematic violence against such names as Sandra Bland, Tamir Rice, the Charleston church massacre victims, and countless others. From there, movements from #BlackLivesMatter to Concerned Student 1950 rose to echo the anger boiling over the pot, the sound of a generation tired of complacent maintenance of the racist structures of their nation. At the top of the year, Kendrick Lamar released his long-awaited follow-up to his acclaimed debut album, good kid, m.A.A.d city, giving musical voice to the frustrated and righteous fury of the black man and woman at exactly the correct time. The clear symbolic and chart hit was “Alright”, which found an exasperated Kendrick acknowledging the struggles that he and his kin face, but fortuitously exclaiming the now-iconic chorus: “we gon’ be alright.” Those words, bellowed over a pounding beat by Pharrell Williams, were repeated at countless marches and protests throughout the year, and will forever be contextualized as the anthem of a year in which black America rose with confidence to give a much-needed shake to dust-covered national attitudes. Behind the social support that elevates To Pimp A Butterfly, however, is one of the most perfect rap albums this side of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. The album is strung together, loosely at first but taught as bridge wire by the finale, by a continuing poem that gives way to a chilling moment when Kendrick is revealed to have been reciting those words to the ghost of Tupac Shakur. This reverence to the history of black American music is reflected throughout the project’s running time; jazz (“For Free?”), funk (“King Kunta”, “These Walls”), and the tropes of classic rap (“Institutionalized”, “How Much A Dollar Cost”, “Complexion”) are seamlessly introduced to Kendrick’s signature lyrical style with increasingly impressive results. It’s a testament to his refusal to adhere to modern hip-hop standards that the closest thing to a 2010s trap “banger” here is “The Blacker The Berry”, a stinging indictment of the kind of hypocrisy that leads a black man to weep over Trayvon Martin and then turn around and kill one of his brothers in gangbanging. No moment here is too uncomfortable for Kendrick to tackle, most painfully displayed in “u”, a breakdown of Kendrick’s own inner demons underscored with the clinking of glasses and the choking back of tears to audibly paint a portrait of a man damn near broken under the weight of his own savior status. But he never does break, and in fact uses his own pain as steam to power the antithesis of that track – “i”, the positivity anthem that rap fans weren’t ready for when it released the year prior. The world wasn’t ready, but the unrelenting chorus of “I love myself” was exactly what it needed to hear. “i” is the beating heart of To Pimp A Butterfly, and it succinctly defines the modus operandi of the work as a whole: to lift. To Pimp A Butterfly aims directly at the heart of a generation with ears wide open for Kendrick Lamar, and it pierces. It leaves no white American unswayed, no casual rap listener able to ignore the historical context of the genre and the pain on which it was built. But most importantly, it gives a rally cry to a generation of black Americans desperately in need of one. As our nation moves toward a more cognizant future, the echoes of “we gon’ be alright” will sound from the many, and that positivity will shine a light through the darkness of our past.  

~

At the precipice

Collectively, we

find ourselves alone

and apprehensive;

all together, yet

wholly separate 

Each of us await

the precipice - and

how fast it has come!

On this, for once, we

we all surely agree; 

and yet, we've never 

felt such disconnect 

All together we

feel the sting of time

whipping past our cheeks -

how we've let it slip

And so we stagnate

hastily, we cede; 

rocks within life's stream

who're wont to float by

alone, yet as one

Ever so slight

Happiness, 

I've felt you

with my fingertips 

Just a brush,

ever so slight,

and never held

I've watched you

from afar, and

yes, I've felt 

jealousy

and wished that

you were mine

Happiness, 

you fickle thing,

the devil's in

your smile

You pull at me

from the corners

of my vision;

so sure to make

your absence felt

Ever so far

and yet so clear,

always on the horizon

but never my own

Marco

You pulled me

across your basement floor

in circles on a rug

I was four years old,

and I laughed

as you did,

and you were strong

I told the other kids

my middle name

was Marco,

and, proudly,

I said that I

was named for you

I saw your face,

smiling as always,

within your name

when I wrote mine

I watched your hair

turn platinum,

but never fall out

You watched me grow,

and never once

were you not proud

You always said

that I was strong

long before I truly was

I watched you as

you lost your wife,

and saw you cry

as you held your daughter

I saw you stand

at your love's grave

and you prayed;

you shed your tears,

but stood your ground

I watched you stand -

strong, composed -

through it all;

a life well lived

You showed me what

I try to be -

always full of love

and always with a smile

Even through the pain,

through sickness

and through fear,

in foreign places 

and new chapters,

you always smiled

I heard today

that you were sick;

I cried for you

and wished that I 

could take your pain

And selfishly,

I wished that you

could never leave

You haven’t yet,

but when you do,

I know that I 

will shed my tears,

But I will stand

strong as you are

and I will smile

because you taught me to

No matter the storm,

no matter the place,

despite the weight

of the unknown

I'll always smile

the way you always have

And, proudly,

I will always see

your face in your name

when I write mine

Chasing Dragons

Below the surface, oft I find

There lies the peril of my mind

And not a thought was so aligned

As those born of fraternal kind

Dreams of laughter, wet with tears

Memories of gone-by years -

I stop myself, and draw a sigh

I’m chasing dragons long passed by

canvas sky

To be as bold
as the fluttering wings
of a dragonfly

Oh,
to be as free
as a leaf that falls
on the burnt end
of a Marlboro

To be as still
as the water
of a silent stream

And to be so calm
in the autumn wind
as clouds creep through
a canvas sky

the silence

It was not 

a woman’s gaze

that turned me

to stone

Was not

the temperature

that turned my

blood cold

And it was not

a cloudy day

that caused me 

to hang my head

It was the lack

of cause

that brought me

to my knees

It was the wind

empty as it came

and solemn as

it left

with no trace

It was 

the silence

that deafened me

and drowned out

all else around

Funny

Funny, how

once you’ve taken

a cloth to your mirror, 

you just might find

that you look

better than you thought

Funny, that;

for here I had

been under the impression

that I never needed

to clean

My head hurts,

my body aches,

and I am sick

in many ways;

and yet, I smile

shed my leaves

I shed my leaves,

for fall has come, 

and it has been 

far too long

since I've shed

that weight

I clear my skies,

my eyes, my mind;

the air has told me

that it’s time

Today is day one

of many more,

and many after those;

today, however,

is special

Because, today

I get the chance

to shed my leaves

and start again;

to face my fears

and insecurities;

my habits and

my self

Today

is day one,

and I

am ready

to begin again

Autumn Leaf

I am a leaf

Without its tinct

One among many

Myself indistinct

Clutched by the arm

Of an autumn tree

Barren and brown

With nothing to breathe

Just like summer

And its dry heat

My color’s gone

My hue's left me

I’m just a leaf

I'm not unique

Like my fellows

On that old tree 

I will fall soon

Inevitably

I will float down

On a fall breeze 

I will lay claim

To grass as my bed

And I’ll lay to rest

A small spot of red

On thousands of blades

Of vibrant green

Their color is theirs;

No color for me

I’ll turn to brown

And I’ll become stiff

And just as with all

I’ll blow with the wind

Worn, colorless

Stiff, indistinct

I’ll be a leaf

Gone by with a blink

In the Moment

Coffee and pop tarts

In an empty house

Cowboy chords ring out

Through the kitchen which

Is lit by golden sun

To an A minor

And as I sit here

And fuck up my scales

As steam lifts from my mug

With hours til my day

I am thankful to

Whatever gears may turn

This world - I am

Thankful, because for

One morning of mine

At 21 years 

I savor this now

For I am at peace

My Nightlight

I always needed a

Nightlight to sleep - Less,

I’d fear throughout the night

Of isolation true

I grew up so afraid

That the cold dark just might

Swallow me up whole

And I would not see light

So as I grew and learned

I bought a desktop light

I plugged it in my wall

And armed myself such that

I might be strong throughout

That ever-fright'ning night

I settled in my bed

And I turned on my light

And yet, I laid awake

Still so l consumed by night

I thought that I’d be safe

But here, alone in dark

I found myself so weak

Still so full of my fear

Of the things lying close

In shadows so unclear

A light may bring comfort

Or some passing relief

But while a soul remains

Afraid, it just distracts

So I stood up and sat

In my darkness a while

And engulfed in my fear

I grew to crack a smile

Spectacle

Oh, spectacle -
that rush of sugar
felt throughout my bones!
The feeling of
new, and rejection
of that which was old!

That which now lies
before me - not
in body, but in
mind, and in dream -
is fantastic,
and must be known!

I with my tools -
so trusty til now -
am at a loss
to describe this

Just know that I
was entertained

Days We Didn't Reach

I dreamt last night

Of many things -

Incoherent messes

Of color, sound

And imagery

- but clearest of all

I dreamt of your face

You smiled at me

And asked my name

And reenacted

How we met

You yelled at me

A callous replay

Of our last days

You made your points

And I made mine

I dreamt of you

In terms unreal

Of days we didn’t reach

I dreamt of sun

And smiling faces

Yours, most clearly

I wanted to run

To grab your cheeks

And kiss you

To fall to ground

And apologize

For all of my shortcomings

To stand up and say

That I don’t need you

And walk away 

Trying to believe it

So many things

That I would do

But I all did

Was dream of you -

Your face, so clearly -

And days we didn’t reach

Glass Essence

My essence is glass

The casing is cracked

The lessons I’ve learned are ingrained

This man has learned

How quickly hours pass

Swept up like sand in the waves

My structure is known

And to it, I ‘scribe

I keep to the rules I'm told

But on the horizon

I see with these eyes

The chaos that threatens my soul

My hourglass, oh

It's long since been flipped

I’ve come to accept

That my clock runs fast;

With each falling grain

Fifteen more sneak past

The seconds don’t last

Too fast to complain

As structure slips by

Quickly, out of my hands

I watch as it crumbles

To nothing but echoes

A constitution

With no ruling class

And suddenly -

These walls I once knew

Aren’t so strong anymore

I fear that I’ve entered

A swan dive; where first,

I lept - comprised, strong,

My eyes tightly closed -

Til chaos came calling

And twisted my arms

It tapped on my shoulders

And opened my eyes

To show me the water;

It approaches fast

My poise slowly slips

And soon I am falling

I’m out of control

The air whistles past

Blood pumps in my ears

So I close my eyes

For as I have learned

That’s all I can do

The surface is hard

My glass walls shatter

My sand grains scatter

And soon they are swept

Mixed with water by waves

You Need

Close your eyes

And tell yourself

That monsters aren’t real

You tell yourself

Don’t listen;

It’s all in your brain

Your worries,

They hinder you

You need to break

You need to build

Do something

Anything

You do nothing

You’re paralyzed

The seconds pass

You’ve lost your chance

And as it goes

Threadlike toward the wind

You accept it

You crack a smile

And crack inside

Show the world you’re fine

And breathe

It’s hard to try

But do so, please

Your mind’s become

Your enemy

You need,

But don’t know what you need

You crack a smile;

So does your heart

And you begin to bleed

The Archer

Aim high, young archer

Unsheath your bow

Unto the heavens, defy

Your arrows plenty

And your crest displayed 

Walk steady, assured and comprised

Hold up your head

And see those you love;

They're calling your name in the crowd

No monster or foe

Is bigger than you 

The screams of the many grow loud

Your stance is well practiced

Your string is held taught

You fire; the arrowhead screams

See how the weapon

Has found its intent

Piercing the air without wings

Be strong, young archer

For your time has come

Shout your name proudly on high

By your heart's beat 

Raise boldly your bow 

And split the cerulean sky

Morning Mantra

When forenoon light

Seeps through your blinds

Do you wake up

Or choose to hide?

If you wish

You’ll close your eyes

And never know

The bluest skies

Shower fast

As coffee brews

Fill your mug

And read the news

Watch the blinds

The light beams through

There’s so much left

Today to do

For now you sip

And nod to tunes

While sun decides

Your waking mood

Don’t be scared

Of morning light

There’s more to see

Than there’s in night

So make love to

The rising sun

Soul's vivified

Your day’s begun

Little Blue Clouds

On days without clouds

Sunshine burns my skin

Invisible rays

Leave callouses thin

Without my blue clouds

In an orange can

I’m forced to seek shade

Stick my head in sand

With little blue clouds

My middle's secure

But on days without

My mind is more pure 

I never take time

To look at the sky

The fear of the hurt

Means beauty drifts by

But without the clouds

The sky is so blue

The highs are up there

Though lows are there too

I stick with my clouds

And accept the mean

For my present’s sake

To keep my mind clean

I work toward my strengths

For fortitude and

One day I’ll emerge

A much stronger man

When my job is done

And I find my ground

I’ll trade them for wings

And I’ll fly around

I’ll look past the clouds

To a bright blue sky

I’ll bear through the lows

To bask in the highs

6.5

The smallest words 

Can sometimes hurt

For years after they should

It’s been some time

But I still find

My outsides aren't good

I still remember

One day when

The girls rated the guys

He was an 8

And he, the same

And I, a 6.5

The lowest grade

Almost a fail

If looks were academe

Shallow yes

Perhaps naive

But hurtful all the same

It’s been some years

I’ve grown a bit

And found a happy place

But now you seem

Confused when I

Don’t try to see your face

It’s not so much

A clung-to grudge

I’ve just moved on, you see

I’ve found new friends

And they respect

The handsome inside me

I may not be 

Most beautiful

Or favored by your vote

But rest assured

I’m stronger now

My mental stays afloat

For looks will fade

The glory days

Of youth will not endure

Though not the best

At looks, I find

My heart and mind mature

So if you wonder

Where I’ve been

Just know I’m doing fine

And if you wonder

How I look?

I’d say an 8.5