It’s almost laughable how blatantly the patriarchal backbone of our society structured my own life when looking back; it would be laughable if it weren’t for the unfortunate mentality it forces into the mind of young boys, myself included. Growing up, I was “cursed” with a special yearly reminder of gender roles falling on my birthday. International Women’s Day, I am ashamed to admit, was something I once hated being associated with my day of birth. Of course, it didn’t help that other boys in my elementary school classes would inevitably tease me with that little bit of trivia each year, snapping me out of my self-focused birthday haze to feel my cheeks turn red at being associated with femininity. It’s absolutely stupid, in hindsight, but that was how it was. Not much more evidence is needed to prove a masculine culture than just a look at how little boys are raised to react to being compared to women.
But even at that age when boys and girls almost seem to be from different planets, I never felt quite right about the negativity attached to the opposite gender. As with many things in my life, this little paradigm presented itself to me most memorably in the form of music. In my younger years, I kept up with each semi-monthly NOW That’s What I Call Music! release, both to collect and to discover. Among dozens of tracks I still love to this day, many of my favorite discoveries on those releases were billed to women: “All For You” by Janet Jackson; “AM to PM” by Christina Milian; “Rock the Boat” by Aaliyah. “Bootylicious” by Destiny’s Child, I’m not even moderately ashamed to admit, was present on a mix CD I made in 2nd grade of my “favorite hits”. Despite the little quips by friends that my taste was getting a little too “girlish”, and despite the shame that society taught me to feel at that indictment, I never did feel truly ashamed for loving “girl” songs. A woman’s voice will always carry a certain emotion, a certain urgency that male singers will never truly be able to replicate - the ever-present knowledge that, in a man’s world, they are the voice that is able to be heard.
It took years for me to be able to commit those thoughts on why I love female vocalists to words, but even in saying them, I concede that I’ll never truly be able to describe the unique power that a woman can convey; no combination of words will ever eliminate the fact of my privileged perspective as a male fan. Nevertheless, I’ll always be awed by the power of a committed woman to break through the ceilings arbitrarily set before her. This applies even more to women of color; as a longtime fan of R&B, from my young days with Janet to listening to Tinashe today, that’s a layer to the genre that I’ll never be able to ignore. And nor would I ever want to; when my little sister was able to go to a Ms. Lauryn Hill concert recently, I was beyond excited for her to experience firsthand the emotion and raw girl power I’ve always been awed by from an outsider’s perspective. That feeling of empowerment and gender positivity will always seep from between the notes of the feminine songs and artists I’ve admired, and it’s incredible to see the way that young ladies today can be inspired from them to speak their own truths.
Today, on my 22nd birthday, I woke up and thanked those who had wished me well. But I did so with “Make Some Room” by The Suffers as a soundtrack, because there’s something else very important to be celebrating today. In a society that will always lean toward men without a concerted effort to the contrary, celebrating a single day each year to its fullest is the least that we can do - men especially. I’m lucky enough - I know this now - to have a very blatant reminder on my day of birth to celebrate the women that have made my life and the lives of so many others as great as they are. And again, celebrating one day is the absolute least that we can do in thanks. Each year, increasingly as I’ve grown and learned, I try to hold International Women’s Day as a signpost to keep in mind until the next time it rolls around - an impetus to always be thankful for the women that do the most to make this world a beautiful place.
One of the highlights of my semester thus far was the MU Vagina Monologues, a feminist play that my campus has held a rendition of for the past several years to highlight the issues that women face daily, the atrocities suffered by their gender that many would like to forget, and the feminine spirit that burns in each woman despite society’s constant efforts to snuff it. It was my first year attending, and I got to see several good friends of mine participate in discussions and readings that have stuck with me since. I can’t think of a more powerful singular piece than that evening that I’ve seen in quite some time, and International Women’s Day is as good a day as any to once again voice just how much respect I have for those women and all of their peers around the world who are increasingly carving for themselves the platforms they want to speak from. All I could think of while watching that show was how much I wanted my little sister to see and know those messages of self-love and gender positivity. Once again, the most awe-inspiring thing I always come back to about the female spirit is how powerfully they can and will inspire future generations to be the best women they can be. I’m just lucky enough to be able to appreciate all of it from the sidelines; it’s girls like my sister that will really be emboldened to grow from it.
So, today, I wanted to just take some time to celebrate International Women’s Day and each and every one of the people in my life who are celebrating it as well. I love my mother, who will and always has been the biggest cheerleader I could ever ask for, and my father for showing me what it means to be a respectful, loving, and supportive husband. I love my sister, who seems to only ever be increasing her momentum toward a beautiful and successful future. I love my friends - those girls who let their voices be heard on the Vagina Monologue stage, those ladies who bring their own feminine spirit to each day and situation that they encounter to improve it, and my fellow men who hold their own respect for the women that help keep their world spinning. And most of all, I love that I was born on a day of such positivity and appreciation. You’ll catch me wearing out my “Power Womz” playlist today, and I’ll leave you with one of my favorites from it:
